[TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDERS]
There is a person, right now, who is realizing their body is not wrong, disgusting, or broken for the first time in all of their 37 years on this planet. There is a teenager, who has reclaimed the word ‘fat’ - now using it as an adjective, embedded with 15 years of self-love and survival. Right now, there is a 78 year old, a 46 year old, and a 12 year old, staring at their bodies in the mirror and seeing nothing but sexy, hot, ferocious, UNSTOPPABLE. There is a person, right now, reading the story of another and realizing they have not spent 24 years struggling with disordered eating alone. There is a person, right now, who is wearing booty shorts 2 sizes too small ON PURPOSE. There is a person, right now, who has started to make a point of telling themselves daily that they are strong and beautiful, as a way to heal 19 years of ‘incapable’ and ‘ugly’.
Sharing our stories of struggle is incredibly vital and important, but it is also important to share our stories of resistance. When we illuminate the change that we are creating (as well as our struggles), it is easier to see that we are not alone, that we are moving through this self-hatred that sometimes feels like concrete, that we are destroying the systems that tell us which bodies are attractive and valuable, and which bodies are wrong. When we make our struggles and resistances available to others, we create space for self-love to creep in to the hearts and minds of those around us. After a while, self-love starts to spread like wild-fire, rapidly transforming the body hating landscape of dominant culture and creating more space for all bodies to experience love and value. What is more badass than that?
Sometimes even the smallest, or simplest acts of resistance can seem like the hardest. Just remember that all of our struggles are different and that we are doing what we can. There is no ‘right way’ to begin to love ourselves, and there is room for all of us to exist where we are at. If you can’t take action today, there is always tomorrow, next week, next month, etc. Just keep trying, and above all treat yourself with gentle compassion and kindness because the fact that we are even contemplating these things is a powerful act.
* I wrote this after I read this [tw eating disorder] because realizing I wasn’t alone in struggling with (and resisting) disordered eating was so fucking relieving and transformational for me. When I read this, I thought “yeah, this is their very important reality, but the author is erasing the ways that these people resist. what about the ways that we resist? we should share that also”